5 Ways To Make ALL Your Life Challenges Easier
Adaptability is being able to adjust to any situation at any given time. ~John Wooden~
To thrive in this world, you need to be able to adapt to everything that comes your way. I can’t imagine that you will jump up and down with happiness when hardship comes knocking on your door, but the reality is that you will get your turn. Or when life takes a 180-degree turn, what do you do?
The question then becomes; How will you react? Are you giving in to your fear or are you shaken up a bit and look for ways to deal with what is on your path? This counts for ALL life changes like; marriage, divorce, illness, loss of a loved one, getting children, empty nest, retirement, loss of job/ business, moving, just to name a view. On first sight, you may think “negative” changes are more problematic to deal with then the “positive” changes like marriage and children, but don’t fool yourself; ALL changes have a tremendous impact on your life. It is your adaptability to these life alterations that has the biggest influence on how you manage the transformation.
When you freeze or shut down and give fear the upper hand, I can guarantee you that you are not willing to adapt to the new situation. The biggest danger of your unwillingness to adapt is that you become uncompromising and rigid in your thinking and your actions; and the consequences of that are:
Fear of failure when trying something new: The fear of failure can become so overwhelming that you refuse to try anything new or different. For example, looking for a new partner after a bad break-up, trusting your body after a health crisis, having self- esteem after being let go of the job. Or even learning a new skill, take an adventure to another country. Just everything that makes you question the status quo.
Not aware of self and/ or situations: Fear can become so consuming that you become closed off from rational thinking. You will be so immersed in the situation that you can’t be objective, but gives you the feelings of drowning and being overwhelmed with hardly a way out. In this state it is very difficult to formulate a cohesive thought let alone find a solution to your challenges.
Inadequate communication: When you are not aware of what goes on inside yourself or the situation; you can’t communication effectively. Because your perspective becomes very narrow and one sided, and what you think becomes what you say and do. Which will all play out in how you communicate.
Fear of decision making: If your thoughts go in circles, no concrete decisions can be made, you will keep wavering out of fear to do the wrong thing. Doing something is always better then doing nothing.
Hard time taking responsibility: Your fear of not being good enough, making mistakes, not being loved come to the surface in all the four points above. They express themselves in expecting others to “fix” your problems or you blame them for what goes wrong in your life.
You can also turn it around and explore why it is so great to be adaptable and flexible. Adaptable people do this:
Are open minded: By keeping your mind open you will discover that you still encounter life problems, but you will deal better with them because you are not stuck in your thinking on how something “should” look like. This gives you the advantage in the next 4 points.
They see opportunities outside the “normal”: Normal is what you are used to and be brought up with. When you create a broader perspective, you will notice you have more options to choose from, therefore you discover multiple opportunities you otherwise wouldn’t have.
Have a strong back bone: To step out of your comfort-zone takes guts, and by doing so you develop your own identity and self-esteem bit by bit. You don’t rely on others to make decisions for you and to keep you safe and happy.
Don’t blame others when it goes different than expected: Life has its way to throw you of kilter and challenges will come your way. By standing in your own power you don’t feel the need to push personal responsibility on to somebody else, and you are strong enough to admit you made a mistake.
Are willing to do new things: By going out of your comfort-zone you know that the rewards out shine the discomfort, and also to grow stamina you need to challenge yourself to explore what else is out there. By doing things in different ways, you know there are more ways to reach your goal then the only narrow one you may first have thought.
I like to tell my clients: “if you compare your life with standing in a room ask yourself. Am I standing with my face in the corner? You don’t see more then what is right in front of you. Or are you facing the room, this gives you a broader view of all different possibilities that are out there.”
Life is one big adventure, and it is YOUR adventure; make the most of it.
Contact Ellen Nyland if you want to create more opportunities in your life. Ellen is an Transition Coach that helps individuals and families navigate the big and small forks in life’s road.
