The 5 Reasons Self-Care Is A Necessity NOT A Luxury

Self-care is often seen as selfish, but it is like putting your oxygen-mask on first so that you can help others who struggle getting theirs on.

Are you a people pleaser who feels guilty when you have to say no when somebody asks you for a favour, or when you feel you let another down; but in the meantime you have a hard time to keep your own head above the water? Then this article is for you.

The difference between self- care and being selfish is: With self-care you have strong boundaries, you are willing to help others but you pay attention and take good care of your body and mind. You know when to help and you know when to say no without any thought for personal gain.

When you are selfish you have no regards for someone else’s opinions or feelings and you are not going out of your way to make others comfortable. You are so obsessed with only your pleasure and personal gain, that you forget the people around you.

The selfish mindset is not where you want to be, it may serve you in the short run but you will lose friends and even your partner in the long run. But self-care is a must, you will burn out if you think the world can't function without you, and it will make you a better person through these benefits:

1. Self-care reduces stress levels: When you listen to your body and mind you know when you need to take rest and when to say no. Therefore you don't overexert yourself, and you function within your limits.

2. Creates clarity: Your brain is not cluttered nor sidetracked, you can see the path you need to take in life clearly.

3. You make more solid decisions: With a clear mind you can take a more educated decision on life changing questions.

4. Healthier relationships: Through self-care you stand more relaxed and positive in life, this attracts great friends who will respect your space.

5. Better parent: When you are relaxed you have more patience and your tolerance level is higher, also you are more fun to be around, combine that with the points 1 to 4 and you are the perfect parent.

Self- care is something you can develop as often it doesn't comes naturally, to this day it is still seen as being selfish. Below you find 5 great tips on acts of self-care.

1. Become your own best friend: Find and work on your hot buttons, what makes you tick, explore of what you truly want out of life. Work with an independent coach/ consultant or take classes just to get to know yourself better.

2. Make time for what you love to do: This can be a hobby, yoga, reading even taking a bath, just make sure it is your time even if it is for 15 minutes a day.

3. Communicate when you need a short break: Taking care of others ( this can be a partner, children or parents) can be draining. Therefore be clear when you need a break and tell your loved ones that you do, then go for coffee or ice-cream with friends or enjoy them alone.

4. Watch your spending habits: Do not spent more money then you have, because an overdraft triggers stress, frustration, doubt and conflict, and those are all emotions you want to avoid.

5. Exercise: Being active gives you the happy hormone, makes you feel good about yourself and it is a great stress reliever. It can be as simple as walking the dog, or just a walk in nature. Cleaning the house counts as well. In short any activity is good even when you don't want to go the gym route.

When you first start on your journey to self-care you will feel resistance from the people around you, and they will tell you, how “selfish” you are. Explain to them why you need to take care of yourself and encourage them to do the same, maybe you can come up with activities you can do together.

Self-care is self preservation and you are worth it; you need to live longer than just today.

Ellen Nyland is a transition coach and author of the book " Life is Great Even When it Sucks." Contact Ellen for a free 30 min coaching session.