What You Are Hiding From Yourself Without Even Realizing It

Stuck in the same argument with your partner? Doesn’t your partner communicate and it drives you crazy? Are you surprised by your partners actions?

There is a logic answer to all of these questions and the answer may surprise you.

It all starts with that your world is formed by what you see, hear, smell, taste and feel from the world around you. So basically, your personal experiences. You came into this world with this beautiful unspoiled (what I call the) “I Am Status.” This is your authentic self, nothing is more beautiful than that.

THEN life happens, your parents or caretakers started to teach you these 5 important things: trust, accountability, commitment, conflict and result. In it purest form these 5 things are the building blocks of our society but we teach them from our perspective and because we battle with our own insecurities, the insecurity will be transferred into this beautiful new arrival.

It gets even worse as you get older and you are not only dealing with the influences from your family culture but also with the: society culture, world culture, media culture AND your life events. You are bombarded with information every moment of the day, it is then no wonder that you get overwhelmed and start creating cooping mechanisms to survive in this world.

Often you subconsciously adapt the cooping skills from your first teachers aka your parents/ caregivers. Because their teachings have flaws in them you end up with the same flaws in your cooping mechanism. With all this in mind it is no wonder that your authentic self is mostly invisible, because you operate from autopilot and from all the learned behaviour on what is “right” and not from what is truly and uniquely you.

Now back to your argument with your partner. You both know what you know and you see what you see. The trick is to become curious enough to want to go on a scavenger hunt to explore different perspectives. THAT is where the gold is; your curiosity of the world and perspectives around you.

This exploration will not only help you with the arguments, but also with you coming out of hiding. EH? Yes, you hide your beautiful, magnificent self behind all the learned conditions that are laid on you during your life, and not only you but also the people you love and the stranger on the street.

We all hide behind the masks of expectations, assumptions, rules created by the world around us and believing in the limitations we seem to have. You are a victim of it all, and luckily you can change that by getting in touch with your authentic self, and start living from THAT perspective.

The kicker in it all is, when you do that your struggles will become manageable, your relationships will deepen and your career becomes more fulfilling. So, what is stopping you to step out, and claim your magnificent self?

More information on this topic you can find in my book “life is Great Even When it Sucks.” Contact Ellen Nyland for all your questions.