7 Signs Guys Hide Their Deepest Emotions By Acting Like A Jerk

Why do guys act like idiots and jerks? It is their coping mechanism for dealing with their emotions.

Dealing with men my whole life: four brothers, going to school with only guys, three sons plus hubby and working in a male dominant industry, I can say for certain that men have different coping mechanism when it comes to the emotional side of life.

Women want to talk about their feelings and men want to push them away as far as they can. This goes back for thousands of years when the male/female roles where set up, men were taught to be the protectors, the providers and the hunters and at that time there wasn't any talking about feelings. Men had to suck it up, push them away and move on. Women were taught to look after the home, the sick and the children. In other words women look after the "soft" side of life and men are expected to embrace the "hard" side of life: war and death.

Now a days women have a career, they are in- depended, they can be the provider and the supporter of their own little family. While men haven't caught on to these changes, yet; nobody gave them a course in how to deal with emotions. When men get overrun by emotions they tend to use a coping mechanism that is not always flattering and easily misunderstood by women, and viola that makes the guy look like a jerk.

In this day and age it is all about how men have to understand women, show compassion, be tender, attentive and become the harlequin romance hero on one hand and on the other hand they haven't learned how the express their emotions. There is no talk or thought about how your partner shows signs of being in emotional turmoil, you only see that he is a jackass and doesn’t understand you. To help you out and bring you and your partner on the same page , I will share with you the 7 behavioural characteristics men show when they are in emotional stress.

1. Partying hard: It sounds very classic going through a break up and the guy starts drinking and partying. Often this is seen as I don't give a sh*t and I'm glad that I got rid of her and let's move on to the next lady, but it can also mean; I miss my partner terribly and I don't know what to do with myself, and a party is one way of taking my mind off my break up.

2. Rude and angry demeanor: Pst, don't tell the guys this, but when a guy feels cornered, they act like a cat in distress, lashing out with everything they got and language is the first thing they use combined with the body language that they know that will piss the partner off.

3. Reckless activities: Some of the guys will engage in activities that gives them an adrenaline rush, something you see on "Out Rages Acts Of Science." Something most women will go to; really, that is stupid. But it is their way of showing off their manhood.

4. Becoming over confident: Then you have a group who will show off their confidence, by what I like to call "the rooster" behaviour. They walk around as if they own the world, and hide their insecurities behind a mask of "I know it all." If you start questioning their knowledge they get defensive and can fall back on another coping skill like No: 2 getting rude and angry.

5. Making inappropriate jokes: Humor is a great stress reliever, but you have to know your audience when you engage in humor. Men who are dealing with inner pain, their filter is often gone and the language they use can be rude and offensive to certain people.

6. Show out of the norm manners: Everybody has habits even when you are not aware of it, so when your man acts out of character, you have to ask yourself, why? Is he contemplating a problem, is he mad/ disappointed or did something happen that has thrown him of kilter. If so you can see it in their mesmerisms that they are unbalanced.

7. They totally shut down: None communicative, men doing their own thing without acknowledging your feeling or wishes. In other words they shut you out, and don't seem to care how that hurts you.

Yes the coping mechanisms the guys use are not easy to deal with as a women, I get that, but if you want a successful relationship; you better start figuring out the coping method your guy uses. This will save you grief, frustration and miscommunication that can lead to a break up, and in return it will give you a relationship that is build on understanding, compassion and equality.

Communication is a two way street.

Ellen Nyland is a transition Coach who helps individuals and families navigate life's big and small forks in the road. Author of the book "Life is Great Even When it Sucks". Contact Ellen for a free 30 minute coaching session if you want clarity in your relationship.