Be confident, be successful

For most of us "being successful" means that we have celebrity status with the pay check to match it. Which is not surprising because that is what is success is portrayed as in the society and media. Cars, careers, houses and bank accounts are all associated with success, the bigger the ...... the more successful we are.

If we measure our success that way it becomes very easy then to feel like we don't measure up and even that we are a failure. Our self confidence gets a real negative push when we don't get that promotion, or if we can't effort a big flashy car, or going into debt just to keep up with the Johnson's.

The little successes we achieve in life don't seem to matter, it has to be enormous or it doesn't count. But it is all those small victories that will give us the big success in the end. Rome is not build in one day, don't expect our dream to be fulfilled in one swoop.

First find out what success means for us personal, because that is for everybody slightly different. The best definition of success I could find is from Maria Nemeth.

"Doing what you said you would do, consistently, with clarity, focus ease and grace"

Therefore if we do what we said out to do, we are already successful in the way it is the most important; we have accomplished our goal regardless what others may say. This is where the difference lay between having success and the feeling of succeeding.

How successful we are depends on others, they consign us the status of being successful. The feeling of succeeding comes from inside ourselves, we don't rely on others to make us feel good. Below you see the difference in a graph.

Having success Feeling of succeeding

Is measured in numbers: salary or fan base ect. We are confident in what we achieved

Social status is connected to the career, house or car. Proud of the things we accomplished

Others tell you how successful you are. It will bring us Joy and happiness

We compare ourselves to others. It makes us feel that we are in balance

In measuring success we compare ourselves always to people who have something accomplished that we want to accomplish or our possessions based on what they have. Often it is a unrealistic comprising, because we pick somebody famous. What we forget is that that person may be successful in one area of their life but not in all of them. Also, to be seen as having success doesn't mean that we achieve the powerful feeling of succeeding.

On our life journey we keep staring to the mountain top, especially to others who are on that top; but we hardly stop, and look down and see how far we came and who is all behind us. This hinders us to fully embrace the feeling of our successes. How do you sabotage your own feeling of succeeding?

Want to feel successful? Contact Ellen, for a free consultation.