The 9 Secrets For A Great Long Lasting Relationship
We found our partner and now we are set. The fairy tale can begin.
Fairy tale: Life is effortless, the love is flowing, understanding and supporting each other, the children are well behaved, we all look like models, the dream house and car are there, and we are happy and healthy ever after.
Then...... we get hit with reality; the dirty socks and the farting in bed.
Real life: Stress at work that you bring home, worries about money and the children, conflict about house chores, and trouble with the in-laws.
The secret for a long lasting relationship is have realistic expectations; regarding your partner and what you bring to the table. Life in general is filled with challenges and conflict, and it seems even more in relationships. The closer a person is to us the more we assume we can dump everything that goes wrong in life on them. There can be expectations for them to clean up mess.
It is therefore important to keep these next 9 points in mind:
Talk about the expectations you have around the relationship. Feel each other out in the beginning, but then you need to discuss the hopes and believes you have regarding your relation.
Have the difficult conversations about money and sex: Talk about the hope and dreams we have around money and sex is vital even if it makes us feel vulnerable. This will take out the guessing and secrets, of what can later become a festering wound.
Build on trust, don't do anything you don't want to be done to you: Keep your word. If you have a problem talk about it, partners can't read minds.
Talk about emotions and feelings: If we assume that our partners know what we are going through at a moment, we are mistaken. We need to communicate our wishes and needs.
Deal with our own inner demons: Nobody can fight inner battles for somebody else, we all have to face our own. Don't expect from your partner to do it for you. If we have courage to face our own trouble, it becomes easier to deal with the relation challenges.
Create our own happiness: Happiness comes from inside, it is a choice we have. It is all in the perspective we have on life.
Accept that we can't change our partner: We all have some trades that can drive another crazy. We can talk about it but ultimate it is up to each individual to change [ or not]
Have compassion: Towards our partner AND ourselves. There always be a conflict, misunderstanding, and changes; this will create growing pain in your relationship.
Live the way you two choose to live: No relation is cookie cutter, what works in one relationship doesn't mean it works in another. Find what works for yours: this means we have to talk.
There are no guarantees in relationships, we need to work on them every day. When we keep the above secrets in mind we have a real shot at making it last. How willing are you to work on your relationship?
More tips on how to make your relationship last, contact Ellen Nyland
